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Ben-jerry-smaller

Ben Cohen and Jerry Greenfield.


About 'Ben & Jerry'Edit

(Based on the popular ice cream brand. This story covers the life and evil doings of Ben Cohen and Jerry Greenfield, and why they ended up at The Mansion of Delights.)


Ben Cohen and Jerry Greenfield were childhood friends from New York. Jerry finished College, but found himself unable to make it into Medical school, which is where he wanted to end up. He had practised the basics - dismemberment was his favourite subject as he wanted to become a surgeon. However Ben did not finish College... As he dropped out due to unknown reasons. Bullied in school and College, Ben & Jerry were NOT popular. Being the 'nerds' of their whole year group in College, they were viciously picked on and even threatened many times. Things did change when they ran a charity event one day; they made their own ice cream at home together (about 120kg worth of it!) and sold it for cheap at the College to raise money and awareness for Cancer. A good deed that went noticed; Ben and Jerry now became much more popular and liked. One report told of Ben spitting in a carton of ice cream before he gave it to a bully named Francesco, however this is not confirmed.


Ben also has a rare condition called Anosmia; which is the inability to smell things properly. So, how did they both become so successful?


In 1977 they both completed a course on Ice cream making, and basically the rest is history. A year later, they rented a place to start packing their ice cream more effeciently, and this led to their ultimate bloom within the business world. They started with three flavours -


Chocolate Fudge Brownie
Oh! My! Apple Pie!
and Chubby Hubby.


The first two are obvious in terms of what went into the ice cream. However, the third is where the controversy began. Chubby Hubby was made after a guy the dynamic duo went to College with, decided to rise up against the newfound company. It was later revealed that Jerry had slept with the mans wife (back in College) and the girl was now married to this slightly-chubby ex-football player. He was angry at the fact the 'nerds' had found fame, and therefore opened up a case against them. This was soon dropped as the man went missing. The public saw this as suspicious, and some even started rumors that Ben & Jerry killed or kidnapped him, chopping him up and adding him to their ice cream recipe's.


Ridiculous.


However, we here at the Mansion of Delights can confirm that theory. The man was indeed killed, not by Ben or Jerry but his body was shipped to Jerry's special 'surgery' he owned secretly, in the basement of their original and now-huge ice cream factory. Jerry had not forgotten his medical skills from College. Ben was completely against the idea of doing what they were thinking of doing, however he knew the man was a bully and only acted out of complete jealousy. Therefore, it had began. The first batch of Chubby Hubby was distributed on March 1st, 1980. The former bully's body parts were slowly added to the recipe; such small pieces were mixed in with the creamy caramel flavour that no one ever noticed. Jerry recalled firstly adding the testicles into the very first batch.


People had fallen in love with Ben & Jerry's. Not just because of the ice cream, but because of all the charity events they soon organised. They were earning so much money simply freezing cream and sugar (and body parts, in the case of the bully) and so by the year 2000 the company had literally boomed. This is where things turned even more sinister. At 50 years old (back in the year 2000), Jerry was lonely as he still had not found love. He soon became attracted to children, and without Ben's knowledge he raped and killed a small child in the surgery room, sometime in 2001. This made Jerry extremely happy, as he now felt completely fulfilled with life. As a result, he made up a new flavour; Kiddiwinks.
The idea for this new flavour was that it was shipped in smaller tubs (kidsize ones) with less sugar and more natural ingredients. Natural like an actual childs body parts. It was a marshmallow, vanilla ice cream and a chopped-up 7 year old, all mixed and frozen solid before being consumed by kids all over the world.


Once Ben found out, he was livid. Nobody could blame him for leaving the company, however he never told of the exploits that Jerry had done. Ben soon rejoined, and forgave Jerry. The habits of Jerry never stopped, and Ben was more and more increasingly worried as time went on. He reached out to us, the Mansion of Delights.


We took them both in, and they now live their days here. The company was sold to Unilever, so nowadays the duo of men have no input in the daily production. To celebrate their coming to the Mansion, back in 2008 they hosted a 'free cone' day, as we agreed to give them a small ice cream factory for whenever they missed the previous life they had. Free cones went like hotcakes; Mike enjoyed a lovely 'Raspberry Kiss', which contained extracts of Richelle's hair while Barry slurped on a 'Wype Your Mouth!'


Of course, Barry had no idea that this flavour contained Wype's poo.


Shortly after, Barry overheard Ben & Jerry having an argument in their living quarters. This ended in a murder then suicide. Jerry shot his long time friend, before turning the gun on himself. Ever since we shut down the ice cream factory (in 2011), many Mansioners have reported seeing two ghosts around that area. We asked Barry to clean the area to investigate. He confirmed it was indeed them.


Apparently, Jerry now in ghost form carries around a large scalpel and Ben's head under his other arm. His eyes are cut out, and Ben's are inverted; Barry was surely creeped out! One day, we hope to taste the lovely flavours of Ben & Jerry's once again. But the question is - What were we really eating all those years?

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