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Evil Joe.


About 'Evil Joe'Edit

There's no fanciness with this one. No alter name needed. His name is Joe, and he's simply pure fucking evil. - Diana Winsceen.


One of the most notorious killers to ever step foot inside the Mansion walls is Evil Joe. He was banished forever, after Mansion workers couldn't keep him under wraps. Joe was one of the most complicated cases we've ever had here at the Mansion of Delights.


It all began on April 28th, 2000. Joe had applied for a job at the Mansion as a waiter, serving in the restaurant of pleasurably delights. This is where visitors to the Mansion can unwind after a long day of traveling through its many corridors, or perhaps chill out after seeing some of the horrors that lie within its walls. Joe had one goal in mind: poison peoples food, and take as many lives as possible. However poisoning wasn't the only method on his mind.


Joe decided to firstly test the waters, and see what he could get away with. On a Tuesday, around lunchtime Joe served a trucker his lunch. The trucker apparently commented on Joe's weight, and so Joe snapped. He grabbed the knife he had just served the trucker, and repeatedly stabbed him in the head with it around 87 times. We had to get Mike to pry him off, and so we left him in the cage of silence to reflect on what he had done. It didn't seem to change him.
About a month later, Joe took his second life. This time it belonged to a woman, named Diana Winsceen.


Diana was a psychiatric nurse, brought in to study Joe. She had been with us a week before her death. Joe must of caught wind on what was going on, as she was secretly studying Joe behind the scenes. He served her soup spiked with his own feces, stomach acid, and bile. Diana threw up over his shoes when she called him over to ask what the soup consisted of, in which Joe took offense. He then grabbed a white napkin, tied it round her mouth/back of her head, lifted her up by the back, and snapped her body in two over his knee after lifting her into the air. Joe needed to be punished.


It took a while, but it seemed eventually Joe had changed his attitude for the better. A month in the cage of diminishing blows can do serious work to a man. His body was battered and bruised by the time he was let out, and he had lost a considerable amount of weight. Joe seemed to be happier.
We gave Joe a week off work to come to terms with his punishment, and to relax before getting back to serving customers. It was within this time we had to let Joe go from Mansion employment. His last and final kill was a visitor to the Mansion, who's name we cannot identify. We had to hide her body, and hope that no one from the outside world would ever suspect she came here. Otherwise, we would be done for. She had strong relations to Madz, and was a suspect in her case. She was wandering the floors of eternal racial hatred, when Madz told her to follow. She did, and ended up unfortunately in the pit of Berserker spawns. The Berserker's were covered up by netting at this time, but Joe was waiting in there for her. It is not known whether this was a trap, with Madz helping Joe or simply him following the two of them. Joe knocked Madz out with his left boot, and then began working on our visitor.


Firstly, he chopped her legs off, then her feet off the legs. Individually, he cut off her toes and sprinkled them like grated cheese through the netting towards the Berserker babies. They gobbled them up like meatballs. In this time, our visitor was screaming, with her last energy and life as she was bleeding all over the place. Joe then dropped her legs in (cut in half), and feet one at a time. By this time the visitor was already dead. After, he chopped off her head and raised it in the air, much like a trophy - towards our CCTV cameras. He then proceeded to take his penis, and insert it vigorously into the hole underneath the neck. Joe did this for twenty minutes, before discarding the decapitated head into the pit. He then cut the rest of the body into bits and fed them to the Berserker's. By this time, they had grown a little bigger.


In the aftermath of all this, Joe was kicked out of the Mansion and placed in Police custody. We wrote a fake story saying he had plans to blow up a Police station, and they took him in - finding dozens of evidence on him in the process. Apparently, before his time at the Mansion he had killed various others in the outside world. Good riddance said Eugene.


Although some of us do miss Joe, we are a better happier workplace without him.

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