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The rare and famous photo of 'Haribo'


About 'Johannes Haribo'Edit

Haribo is one of the biggest manufacturers of gummy and jelly sweets in the world, with its products mainly consisting of Gummy Bears, other jelly sweets and liquorice.


What the 'Official Haribo' website doesn't state: is the truth.


Johannes Haribo was born in 1870. He was an insane mass murderer of people of any age or gender. In most countries, a person convicted of murder is typically given a long prison sentence, possibly a life sentence where permitted, and in some countries, the death penalty may be imposed for such an act. Johannes escaped prison several times due to the fear of spending the rest of his life behind bars - and was nicknamed 'The Magician'.


Every time Haribo escaped, he would innocently kill anybody he would come across - as he knew his life was over before it even began. 120 deaths altogether: 25 deaths including Police Officers and Nurses. The rest were children, teenagers and adults. He also slaughtered cattle on farms and a few farmers along his way.


His first arrest was in 1891, in which he spent 3 months behind bars before plotting his escape. Subsequent arrests were made in 1892, 1894 and 1897. The Magician was 'as slippery as a bar of soap' a phrase commonly used by the inmates of Millbank Prison. Each return would see Haribo in a straightjacket with chains around his legs - as if walking The Green Mile. Applauds by fellow inmates would rattle the Prison throughout the years, and all Johannes Haribo would do is give a big cheeky smile and a handcuffed 'thumb-up' to his friends, stating I'll see you on the outside, boys.


At first, the correctional officers of Millbank would treat Haribo like common dirt. Throwing him in the shittiest of cells and some days not even feeding him or letting him out in to the yard for his daily exercise. This is why Haribo became The Magician - through anger and through hatred of certain officers on the inside.


Secondly, the correctional officers gradually began to fear Haribo. Every time he escaped - which never had ANY explanation as to how or when it would happen caused a huge uproar at Millbank each time, which simply couldn't go on any longer. The next time they would find Johannes Haribo would be the last time, resulting in the death penalty. The officers tried to keep his escapism quiet as other inmates would get the same idea as him. In that case, several did attempt - but all failed miserably. However Haribo escaped still remains a mystery. By the 3rd arrest, Haribo was sentenced to death.
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1894: Johannes Haribo will be executed by a firing squad. Shooting is a form of capital punishment whereby an executed person is shot by one or more firearms. As this was much like a Courtroom situation, inmates and officers of a crowded 100 people stood around to see Haribo fall to his death. *Artwork by young artist Luis Hia* shows Haribo sat calmly and content moments before his death.


One fascinating story written by a close friend of Haribo, which is now a best selling novel selling over 4,000,000 copies worldwide states The Magician and his final escape.


The day of Haribo's death by firing squad was a sad day for my friend. A psycho - yes, but a close friend nonetheless. He was named The Magician or 'Bo' on the inside. It was moments before Bo's death and he was sat so calmly. I was trying to communicate with him but his darkened eyes were staring blankly into space. I hated not having this final contact with my pal. The squad of 10 men raised their rifles and aimed directly at Bo. A sour countdown of 7 seconds were shouted out. As they hit 0 they began to fire - the bangs, smoke and flashing from the rifles made everybody blink and panic. We were all blinded and shocked from the sounds of the rifles and, Bo, hidden by the smoke was most definitely not escaping this time. As the smoke dispersed and rifles lowered - Haribo had vanished. He was gone. Really? -- Officers began to scurry like lost ants, scratching their heads like the idiots they were. Haribo had pulled one over once again. Inmates began to cheer and laugh, causing one of the most famous and dangerous uproars Millbank will ever see.


From 1894 to 1897, Haribo had been living alone in a Factory. Discovered by a search party in 1896: founded a mound of scrumptious gummy teddy bears rotating on a large clockwork device. Evidence of Johannes Haribo was plastered all over the Factory - including his name on thousands of 'HARIBO' packaging, his clothes, buckets/bottles of piss and shit that indicated were Haribo's. The strangest thing was finding these gummy candies rotating around, all colours, sizes, and some were misshapen into dodgy hearts or animals such as lizards or tortoises. The search party leader Thomas Jenkins had tasted the candy and commented, Beautiful. But, later that day died of a crushing stomach bug.


The Haribo's were later discovered to be made from Johannes victims. The reports of the candy displayed human gums (gummy bears/animals), human tongue, human eye balls (colouring) and intestine skin which he had melted together in several different large pots - separate from the eye ball pot which he kept near the back of the Factory. Also where the buckets and bottles of shit and piss were found in which traces of feces and urine were found riddled throughout the human tongues section.


The intestine skin formed a transparency which made the Haribo's look more like candy, whereas the human gums and tongue formed the texture of the candy itself. Then the melted eyeballs of all different colours created the colouring for the different types of candy that he created. The shit and the piss of Johannes was later discovered to be mixed with mounds and mounds of sugar creating the 'sweet' affect, but had researchers confused as to why he would add his feces and urine.


This was then discovered that he was easily just a disgusting psychotic man. He wanted the search party to find his Factory and to try his sweets. He wanted to play games with them as the party also found the remains of 15 victims. 1 victim's gums, tongue and intestine skin can make up to 500 packets of Haribo's. Unlike the present day Haribo - these Haribo's were extremely chewy but VERY tasty. And with another but - EXTREMELY toxic and deadly. Thomas Jenkins' autopsy report showed a manifested stomach bag riddled with maggots and bugs. He died from multiplying vermin's in his stomach that ate away at his heart within the night.


Johannes Haribo wasn't anywhere to be found in the Factory and reports of a breakout virus had come in from all over Millbank City. Haribo had traveled all night posting packets of Haribo's through peoples houses. He had posted 467 packets to all different houses. He also scattered loosely a wide variety of 2,000 haribos in nearby canals and lakes in which fish and ducks were found floating dead over the next few weeks. He had become a mass murderer now, a genius beyond anybodies level.


1897: 1 full year after the Haribo Factory travesty. Haribo had one last trick up his sleeve. The Magician contacted Millbank via letter stating, I am back at my Factory. Come and get me - yours sincerely, Bo.


The letter caused a red alert flood of hundreds of officers, charging toward the now sealed up Factory. Haribo was upset upon his return as the whole clockwork apparatus had rusted and been sealed off. However, the eyeball pot was still intact and all Bo needed was a secret ingredient to get the clockwork running as smooth as clockwork again -- Human stomach acids.


The officers busted the large Factory door down and entered slowly with rifles and raging German Shepherds on leads. They all stopped and gawped their mouths upwards at what they saw...It was Johannes Haribo stood calmly* and content above everybody. He had a large wire mesh covering him and the whole Factory ceiling and what looked like 50 or so other people - or corpses - riddled around the mesh. Bo began, If you fire your weapons, it will cause a Haribo explosion of people. I don't think you want that. He walked along a platform that ran across the length of the Factory, he stepped casually and motionlessly but continued, More deaths. More sweets. Whether you fire or not - the explosion will happen tonight. I press this button, he displayed a clicky-device and pushed it without thought. The surround officers aim upwards, some bail backwards expecting this 'explosion'. Nothing happened.


Haribo clicked it another 13 times getting angry at the button not working. Fuck! Fuck fuck fuck fuck!. Officer Riley Humid, head of Millbank Prison then seized the opportunity and open fired, taking a singular shot at Haribo's leg. It threw his kneecap completely off and he stumbled down screaming in agony. Bo was yelling 'I give up' over and over again.


He was arrested once again in 1897. This time with an amputated leg. Officers of Millbank now appeared smug and clever as they knew there was no way for him to escape this time. He was yet again sentenced to the death penalty - in which successfully he was shot and killed by the firing squad once more. With no vanishing, his body was chewed with bullets and lay silently on the grounds of Millbank.
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It is believed by some that to this day Haribo's still use part of Johannes original recipe of intestine skin, gums and eyeballs. The human tongue can no longer be used as it was eventually discovered that human tongue contains too much poison for a human stomach to withstand. However, a young Johnny Mathews who claimed to be 'addicted' to Haribo's ate over 300 packets in one week and died exactly like Thomas Jenkins did, maggots had eaten away his insides.


The new Haribo Tangfastic's have no relation to Johannes recipe. Or, do they?

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