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Joseph Remy.


About 'Joseph Remy'Edit

Back in June 2010, a child-monster came to the Mansion of Delights and has lived here ever since. Joseph Remy has struck terror into the hearts of many even with the mere mention of his previous life before the Mansion. As the author currently writes this, Joe has murdered over seventy (70) people, both before and after coming to our home.


So, what makes Joseph such a ruthless and dangerous killer? He stands at a rather tiny 4ft7, making him seem weak compared to the likes of Mike, Gruejor, and even Scran who has a 2-kill streak in his whole lifetime. This height disadvantage(?) however, has no effect on his killing abilities. Joseph once took down a 6ft9 man with his hands, in what was described as the funniest, yet most shocking murder Barry has ever witnessed. Barry told us:


Heh... Shit mayn. Where do I start? This lil Joseph dude, he just got to the Mansion. Dude was shown his room and then left without unpacking. I said hi to him but he ignored me... He then walked up to the biggest baddest looking nigga, a Mansion 'baskbetbawl' player - 6ft9 Davey Adams and just stood in front of him not allowing him to walk past. Davey was like... yo midget, move yo bitch ass before I slam-dunk you through the basketbawl hewp of delights and then Joseph snapped, man. He did a few jumps and shit, climbing Davey like a kid climbs a climbing frame? And man, he got to the face and we were all laughing hysterically. I think Davey was laughing too, for a few seconds. Man... That was, until Joseph started clawing at his face and cutting his eyes out and shit. He even put his fuckin' right hand into the empty eye socket and pulled out Davey's brain. We were definitely all silent after that one... Damn man, where does four years go?


We stopped Barry there, before he started reminiscing about the 'good old days' as he always does when telling a story from a long time ago. This is not the only murder he has committed on the Mansion grounds.


Back in December 2013, Joseph killed Tyrell Johnson. Tyrell was easily the toughest prisoner serving life sentence at the Mansion at that time. Chained and locked up in cell #1, Tyrell was not easily going to break out. However, Joseph broke IN.


He slid past the eighteen security guards, who guarded the thin corridor leading to cell #1. He then sneakily stole the keys to the room from the head of security: None other than Mike himself. How he did it, we still do not know.
After stealing the keys, he opened Tyrell's cell and simply walked in, locking it after entering. The guards saw this (including Mike) and tried their best to bash the door down. They failed.


Hello... Um, Ty-? Tyrell? Is it? Joseph asked.
Fuck you want? Tyrell replied.


After that... Silence. Joseph unlocked Tyrell's chains and motioned with his right hand as if to say you're free to go. Tyrell smiled, and walked towards the door. This was Tyrell's biggest mistake.
Joseph jumped on his back instantly, tearing out Tyrell's dreadlocks. One by one, with some skull attached, Joseph ripped out all of Tyrell's hair. It should be noted that although Tyrell only stands at 5ft10, he is the most toughest human criminal to ever set foot in the Mansion. He tried the awkward back-grab routine to try and shake off Joseph; his grip was instantly broken by Joseph breaking Tyrell's fingers one by one. Then, more slices. Each slash from Joseph's sharp claws was tearing open Tyrell's head more and more, with blood now gushing out. Joseph then jumped off, admiring his work.
Tyrell turned around, now with blood all over his head, his face, and his prison clothes. He looked shocked as he had been defeated by such a small man! Joseph was not finished.


With Mike and the guards now ramming at the door harder than ever, Joseph reached into his pocket and pulled out a balloon. He then lunged at Tyrell with a small pocket knife, cutting open his stomach and releasing his intestines. Tyrell was surely now dead, but Joseph's work was not done. He proceeded to blow the balloon up, while it rested inside Tyrell's now-empty body. It filled the empty stomach with air, and life. Tyrell's corpse now floated up into the air and 'popped' once it hit the ceiling. More blood, and stomach acid now spurted everywhere. By now, Mike has attached his drill-claw, and was slowly getting through the door.


Joseph slowly chained himself up, smiling with an evil grin on his face, and stepped into the singular small box Tyrell was previously in (for maximum security and seclusion). He then locked himself in there, methodically and perfectly, securing all locks and chains. As Mike burst through the door, he had already fastened everything down and trapped himself inside. The guards then poured into the room, each one looking more confused than the other...

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