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Mr. Hokey Cokey.


About 'Mr. Hokey Cokey'Edit

You put your left arm in, your left arm out. In, out, in, out, you shake it all about. You do the Hokey Cokey and you turn around, that's what it's all about!


A song that has been misinterpreted for years. Originally, it was a song created by a psychotic man named Hokey Cokey. He is 44 years of age and has spent his life since the age of 8 - killing people. He began his lifelong rampage with his Sister, she was just 2 years of age when he made it look like an 'accident'. Hokey's Mother woke up having heard a crashing bang, she came rushing into the bedroom of Hokey's Sister and saw her cot pushed over with her trapped under it. Hokey was stood next to it, smiling and fiddling with his willy. He said, She fell.


Perhaps an 8 year old couldn't manage this - the cot WAS heavy and to blame your own kid of murder seemed even more horrific. Hokey was let-off of any blame but his Mother still had a suspicion.


The funeral was held a month later and it was a very, very emotional day. The casket was tiny and the service was beautifully depressing...Hokey began to cry during the service which made his Mother feel guilty for even having such thoughts as she did, he even took the stand and said a beautiful passage for his lost Sister. Though she was very young and the light came far too soon, there is a place in Heaven for my Sister. She was an Angel from the beginning. Rest in peace, forever and always. We all love you.


A few months after the funeral, things became more relaxed at home. Hokey's Father had returned and his parents got back together after a long break-up. The death of Hokey's Sister obviously brought the family back together.


Hokey Cokey didn't like his Father.


A week later and the 9th birthday of Hokey arrived.
What would you like, son? Anything you want, you can have! Said his Mother just a few days beforehand. Hokey sat slumped with his arms crossed. I want Daddy gone. Followed by a serious silence. His Mother lowered her eyebrows, nervously chuckled and replied, Son? ... Your Father? He is here to stay though and, well, I know you have never seen eye-to-eye but...Okay, look. He has a big idea for your Birthday party. Give him another chance, okay? Hokey sighed - but agreed to give him one more chance. His Mother continued, A circus-themed party. Your Father knows you well enough, kid. Hokey sprang upwards! Clowns? A real clown!? He exclaimed. Yes, son. And, your presents are a surprise of course - but you have your very own clown outfit. Wig, face paints, squeaky nose, silly shoes - the lot of it. Now keep that hushed! I wasn't supposed to tell you! Hokey was jumping around the room ecstatically full of energy and he spent the following days to his birthday happier than ever.


On the day of the Birthday party everything ran smoothly. Hokey's friends from School had turned up and Hokey's Father had ordered a real Clown to perform various tricks and jokes, crafting funny balloon animals and throwing-pie games as well as apple-dunking and pin-the-tail games. Hokey loved the clown - he looked up to the clown more than he would ever look up to his Father. The clown's voice, the big stupid shoes. The comedy was just so fresh and hilarious he thought. He wanted to walk in those big shoes and have a big bow tie that sprays water. He wanted to perform for families, no - audiences, crowds of thousands! No...Hokey wanted to do something else. Something, bigger.


As the night came to an end and Hokey's friends and the Clown had left, his Mother had let him have a late-night. Every Birthday Hokey was allowed a late-night and he loved the late nights. It was 10:30PM. Hokey was sat in the living room with his Mother watching television. The night didn't feel like his Birthday anymore...it just seemed like a normal, boring night.


Hokey thought about the outfit he got...the black wig, the face paints, the silly shoes. A gradual smile pasted his face...


One minute Mum, says Hokey as he walks upstairs.


A few minutes later, a bang followed by a smashed glass beckons against the conservatory doors. Hokey's Mother's heart skipped a beat! She turns from her chair to look but the curtains are closed at this time. Scared but grabbing the knife that was next to the Birthday cake, she walks to the conservatory doors. Slow steps and a raised hand to the curtain - she QUICKLY pulls them open to see her Husband, Hokey's Father lay crumpled against the glass pane with a bottle of smashed wine by his body. She can't believe her eyes as she looks further to see Hokey Cokey stood, smiling and fiddling his willy - this time in his Clown outfit creepily stood with blood on his bare stomach and hands. Through the conservatory doors it looks like Hokey says, He fell... as he shrugs and mimes it with a big expression.


His Mother called the Police, heartbroken and keeping her own Son locked in the downstairs bathroom until they arrived. When they did arrive, she explained that she thinks her Son has killed her Husband - he is only 9 years of age and that she also believes he killed her Daughter a few months back. An investigation progressed to unveiling the truth about Hokey Cokey - he was indeed the reason for the death of the Husband and the Daughter, stating the only evidence, They fell.


Being only 9, Hokey had to spend 4 years in an Institution for Young Offenders until he was a teenager - in which he would then spend his teenage years in an adult Prison. 12 years before release of course, after mental tests to confirm his safety of being in the real-world. Hokey Cokey will be 25 before he is allowed 'out' spending his whole teenage to young-adult years locked-away.
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Hokey's release meeting had ended and tests were positive and he hadn't caused a single disturbance in the whole time of his incarceration. Just one question from the officials, Why did you do it? He still answered back, They fell. He is handed his belongings, such items that he hadn't seen in so long. Some things never change, Hokey. Enjoy the real-world. There is a Cab outside waiting for you. Hokey nods and leaves the doors of the Prison.


He had contacts from the inside that lead to contacts on the outside. He had a few places to go first before doing what he had planned for all this time of being imprisoned. He visited an Internet Cafe and discovered a Halloween website and received a contact number. He traveled to the house that sold Halloween items and bought a black wig, white, black and red face paints and the best shoes he could get. This house didn't have decent clown shoes so he bought sizes far too big for him. They'll do.


He contacted his next 'guy', Jimmy Miles. Jimmy is basically a human map. Ask him about any place, any street address - he'll give you perfect directions. Hokey received the address of his Mother. She no longer lived at his Childhood home, but lived several miles East in a big country house. An expensive house, Jimmy Miles said, She got lots of money for what you did. She don't need no job. Got herself a new man. Hey, you even got some brothers and sisters if I'm not mistaken. Here's the address. Hokey grimaced at the news he just received...He set on his way to his final destination.


He arrived at the big house, Jimmy wasn't a liar - it was huge. Hokey checked his watch as it displayed 8:30PM. Almost dark. The House was cut off at the perimeter with a large wall, only an electronic gate for cars to enter in and out of. No barbed-wire on the walls though, and no cameras as far as he could see. Hokey chucked his bag over the wall and then performed a very sleek jump up and over the wall. He then waited in the bushes as silent as a snake waiting for a decent time to enter the House.


11:00PM.
Hokey Cokey dresses in the bushes. He spent 45 minutes painting his whole body in white paint, very precise work. Marking his nose off with red paint and finishing his eyes and lips with black paint, he then places the wig on his head. He didn't know the wig displayed a bald patch on the top of the head, he thought it was nice look, very creepy. He puts on the big shoes and underwear making sure he hadn't missed a spot anywhere on his body. He stood, put on a pair of surgical gloves and confidently walked straight to one of the windows displayed on the side of the house.


The living room window - no. The kitchen window...no. He continued around the back. Sitting by the pool, A fucking pool? Hokey whispered under his breath, sat his Mother and her new Man. Hokey's hands clenched, but it wasn't their time yet. First: the kids.


The backdoor was open. Perfect night to sit by the pool you bitch. He stepped into the house checking all angles, just in case. He was in the kitchen, thus continued through the living room and into the hallway. Something Hokey didn't expect was the family pet. A small Jack Russel Terrier. He or her was sleeping by the stairs, to waking and instantly barking at the site of Hokey Cokey. Hokey quickly dived towards the Jack Russel and smashed it's face onto the hallway laminated floor. Smashed and crushed, he then kept his hand on the dogs face, pressing and smudging it into the floor. Shhhhut up you fucker! Nice one Jimmy Miles, forget to tell me about the fucking dog, Hokey says under his breath. The dog was still. Dead. Hokey remained still also, waiting for somebody to check up on the dog. - Nobody did.


He sighed and continued up the stairs. 5 doors. He did the maths in his head, bathroom, parents room and my brothers and sisters. 3 of them. Wow, he thought. He poked his head at the window that was at the top of the stairs looking out toward the back garden, still seated was his Mother and the new guy. He sighed again, progressing to the mistake of the bathroom - to the correct room of a young girl. A big room, he kept the door-to as he collected the other children. He would collect them by entering their rooms, smashing them on the head as they slept and hopefully knocking them out. To his amazement, it worked. He slumped the bodies in the girls room and even went downstairs to grab the dead dog.


The girl awoke to the sound of the Hokey Cokey song, but woke mainly to the chorus, Woah, the hokey cokey, woah, the hokey cokey, woah, the hokey cokey. Knees bent, arms stretched, RA RA RA! She jumped! The 'RA's' were extremely loud and as he sang that part, he threw the dead dog over her sleeping body. It flumped at her like a bag of bones and sadly slopped off the bed. She was maybe 6-7 years of age thought Hokey.


I'm your big brother, that's right! She sat in her bed, silent as a mouse and utterly afraid of clowns just looking at him in fear. So, your Mother. I'm going to kill her, just like your pet dog there. And just like you in a minute. Hokey was crouched down** as he spoke to her. He then 'growled' and pounced on top of her, throttling and smashing her down by her neck choking her just like he did to the dog. She was mildly kicking back but it was ineffective as her life was slowly oozing out of her body. Still. Dead.


Downstairs, Hokey's Mother calls up, What's going on up there!? and footsteps take to walking upstairs. A small panic fills Hokey Cokey - but then rage. Then joy.


He begins to laugh just like a clown would. Yacking and spitting as doing so. The door opened and it was the new guy - not his Mother. Hokey sighed and from his crouched position that he sat in, he dived at the man grabbing him by the shoulders and headbutting him, all in one smooth movement. Hokey pulls the collapsed man into the bedroom, along with the dead Sister, dead Dog and knocked-out Brother's of Hokey. Partially awake, the man starts to come-around from the headbutt he had received. His eyes wobbling from blurred to fine-site - to seeing Hokey Cokey eye-to-eye with him. Hello Stepfather. Nice to meet YOU! On the 'you', Hokey headbutted him once more, this time it crushed his nose inward, crushing the stem of the nose bones directly into the brain and killing him instantly.


Hokey then backed off the corpse and gathered some breath. He listened intently and heard his Mother downstairs on the phone. Just come, quickly! There is a murderer in my house! Literally, seconds later police sirens cover the town. Hokey leans against the red curtains* and shouts down to his Mother, Mum! Mum it's me! There was no reply, just a pause followed by a scream. Hokey heard the front door open and slam behind her.


No. He wasn't having that.


He charged from the bedroom and down the stairs, yet tumbled down the final few steps due to the immense speed he had started with. He laughed and gathered himself, positioning the wig that had slightly mispositioned. He opened the door and saw his Mother at the electronic gates, pulling at them as if trapped, as if there was no escape. She was screaming, HELP, GET ME OUT! GET ME OUT!! Hokey was now walking up the stoney driveway, laughing and applauding and doing a nerdy-walk in his big shoes - very comical. Mummy! I'm here! She turns around, crying and sobbing, falling down on her knees and begging for him to go away!


No Mother. No. Not again. I've done my time. But you? he reaches down and slaps her face harshly, grabbing her hair amidst the slap. YOU, DIE! He throttled her head against the electric gate, smashing and forcing it through the gaps. Crushing and crashing her head that was now bleeding immensely. She had died already, but he carried on anyway. Right up until the Police arrived. They pulled up shining torches on him as he was now smashing a popped face against the gate - mostly just smashing his own hand against the gate. The Police ordered him to stop several times but it was as if he didn't even notice them around him. He looked up, let go of his Mother and stood back with his arms in the air...it was over.


He pretended to get down on his knees, but darted to his right and ran instead. He ran and ran and ran. Ran some more, and eventually got to a forest-type field. Lost in the wilderness but safe from harm, Hokey gathered some breath. There was no longer the sound of helicopters or sirens. He smiled and walked peacefully through the trees.


The floor gradually became soft - as if made of skin or fur. He crouched down and touched it - it was fur. Behind him was Axe Max, who picked Hokey Cokey up with his sheer strength and charged in mixed directions. Finally, Hokey was chucked and feeling like he flew for a good 7 seconds he landed on normal grass. Looking up, he saw a huge building with a man outside mopping the floors. Hokey walked towards the building feeling confused. He was greeted by a man named Barry, and as if 'they' just knew: Geewillykers Rupertlaughs and Joka-Kola appeared, taking Hokey Cokey Kill-and-Jokey in as one of their own.

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