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Mr. Joust.


About 'Mr. Joust'Edit

1942-2013
Cause of death: Mike-claw to the face.


Mr. Joust was a guest at The Mansion, little did we know he was an undercover cop. A rat, a snitch.



Posing as a free-spirited gentleman, a 'writer' looking for inspiration visiting our glorious Mansion, we allowed Mr. Joust to investigate and interview our creators and creations as he studied various sectors of his new novel 'The Horror Bites'. It was all a lie and we came SO close to being ratted out by him - as seen in the photograph below, showing Mr. Joust looking directly into the camera with a face riddled of guilt and nerves.


During his stay at The Mansion he had collected countless pages of evidence on us and what we do there. Voice recordings of interviews with such characters as Jiminy Cricket, Hammering Harry, Abimbola, Walton and Madz. Photographs of Hammering Harry's bloodstained hammer, Jiminy Cricket displayed fully naked evidently with somebody elses blood on his rotund stomach and finally, Walton and Madz hand-in-hand playing a game of 'Nude Lube'. For the record, Nude Lube is a game Walton plays with his victims in which 2 people at maximum can play. Fully naked and completely covered in lube, he then rolls around in the cylinder of roundness slipping and sliding becoming sexually aggressive over the time to an eventual case of 'Walton Rape'. Not to mention the fact that Madz was caught in the photographs, luckily she has changed a lot and has aged considerably.


Mike was the only person to sense something strange with Mr. Joust but we ignored his curiousity as the first rule of The Mansion is: No fear, no problem. Mr. Joust showed zero fear on his stay and having tricked us, we have changed that rule by a large margin.


In the Courtroom where Mr. Joust attempted to strike at The Mansion, we made a private emergency call directly to the Judge. He was probably moments from sending a search party our way until Barry made a lifesaving call.


"Uhh..hey. There is a Mr. Joust in your Court, yeah?"
Judge: "Yes. Who is speaking?"
"Not important..uhh, he is a paedophile. *click*"


As Barry hung up, this was when the photograph* of Mr. Joust was taken. Barry thought he could make a white lie in order to save us, it turns out Mr. Joust was in fact a paedophile - flipping his case completely upsidedown. No evidence? Barry had this covered...He messaged our private photographer via mobile phone with extremely detailed photo edits of Mr. Joust fondling children (with help from Walton - in the playground of the young). The Judge scrapped Mr. Joust's case and sent him to jail, respectively.


2 weeks later


"Mr. Joust," says the Officer stood on the other side of the cell steel bars. "You have a visitor." Mr. Joust sits up in his cell looking confused. He swings his legs from the bunkbed and jumps down. The Officer unlocks his cell and cuffs him, walking him to the visiting office.


Mr. Joust took a seat in Section 3 facing the heavy-duty glass pane. Nobody was on the other side, he waited, waited some more. He then picked the phone up and listened - even though nobody was opposite him. He turns to his right and sees a fellow inmate talking to his partner, he watches them as they talk intently and deeply, obviously missing one another...Mr. Joust sighs and looks down to his lap. Head now in hands he lets out a huge breath of unsatisfied air whilst rubbing his face and eye. Upon looking back up, a heavy-set and scarily muscly man is sat opposite him. It makes Mr. Joust jump! In the quick shot of shock he sees 4 gleaming claws crash through the glass. Against his soft human-skinned face, they slice right through the skull and facial features giving Mr. Joust a rough 11 seconds of life left. He saw his own eyeballs fall out, aswell as pretty much all of his teeth that flung out and off along with his jaw.


He lay stumped back on the floor with warm trickles of brain slowly falling from his opened skull. Mike had vanished with such speed that nobody caught on to anything.


Grrraa grugghhh hurrgg gra. (Do not fuck with me or The Mansion.)

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