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NuEd

The little shit; Nut 'Ed.


About 'Nut 'Ed'Edit

Arriving as a new member for some stupid, stupid reason is Timpson Roberts, or known on the streets as Nut 'ed. Only 14 years of age, he has been drinking his favorite drink White Ace aswell as other cheap alcoholic beverages since the young age of 6. He smokes 30-40 cigarettes a day, in which he stuffs his empty cans with butts aswell as spitting on the lit cigarette and poking them down the furniture sides or simply throwing them across the room - Room #17, aiming for the cheap plastic basketball hoop he had Mike install.


He has a pet Staff called Bronson, totally untrained but is absolutely loyal to Nut 'ed. The dog is chained against an ornate Mansion lamp and he only takes him out around Corridors once a week. Nut 'ed has rejected a proper statement saying, 'Fuck that man, i'm getting a weed and staying in again.'


However, Nut 'ed - under the influence of White Ace, cannabis and many late nights watching Scarface repeatedly, he wrote up a letter to us explaining about why he is here and what his plans for the future are. Having been paid by his local Job Centre today, we believe this is why his confidence has perked up and we hope you can understand this:


yo n dis is nut ed repin mansion. neva relly rote anyfin lyk dis be4 but eyar m8s ope u can reed it n dat. nut ed 2014 ere cos it nice, propa chillin place man n u get gud serviss on food n dat. i pay my way cos am a gstar round dese endz, am workin on makin sum beatz n tunez cos am gna be da next eminem me m8, sik lyrics ye? eres a bar now it go lyk dis, yo! names nut ed, livin in da mansion cos am rich out ma ed, smokin weed n drinkin is ma ting, n dnt try n stop me cos of my dog bronson wil byt u n ur face is mingin. - yh man dats my lyrics n e wai. so wot am sayin is am ere to stay, n dat blak guy barry does he sel weed cos i need a new deela? hez blak so i fink he myt sell it let us no yh? peace out repin mansion, nut ed!!!!
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Room #17, once a plush and tidy room has been stained with nicotine and stinks of an unclean pub. The newest addition to Nut 'ed is a bucket that he urinates in. He stated, 'I can't be arsed going to the bathroom. Using the bucket is easier.'


We know nothing about his upbringing but we can only guess he had a rough childhood. Respecting all guests and members is our rule, and supposing Nut 'ed keeps to himself he shouldn't be a problem. Although, Bronson has been pooing outside the room in the corridor. Barry says, 'I am sick to death of this little wanker. If I have to clean this kids dogshit one more time, I swear to God.....'

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