Obvious-Lee
Lee comes in the pack of Lee's Limited, alongside Sarcastic-Lee and Momentary-Lee.
The Lee's only come in a pack of 3 and are used in the Courtroom of Delight's. No crime has ever been swept under the rug with the Lee's, as each Lee help each other in their own way to break down certain cases we need help with. They review the caseload and we listen to each Lee upon that. This crime is petty, but involves No-Teeth Keith and a sewer urchin that was found dead in the gutter.
Sarcastic-Lee's input helps because he talks about the crime as if we're all the murderer. From that point of view, he sarcastically puts forward a sensible reason why the urchin died and why No-Teeth Keith is innocent.
Momentary-Lee works in the moment, pinpointing exactly what was going on, who saw what and how Keith has ended up as a possible murderer. Momentary-Lee is actually really useful because he contradicts Sarcastic-Lee when Sarcastic-Lee is running his mouth throwing false (and stupid) claims out (mostly just for laughs).
Obvious-Lee, the Head Lee in charge has the final say on everything in the Court. Once Sarcastic and Momentary-Lee have broke down the case, Obvious-Lee then comes out and makes sense of the situation by picking truths and facts from the other Lee's work and making an obvious outcome from it. This programme has worked for the last couple of years and the Lee's are happy to stay and help.
No-Teeth Keith was found not guilty of urchinslaughter and has been returned to the sewers accordingly. The urchin that died has been fed to The Pit of Pita Bread's and Peter's Bed, a pit that contains hard, stale pita breads and Pissed-off Pete's old bed he claimed was too discomforting to sleep on. We got the Lee's on this case and brought Pissed-off Pete to the Courtroom.
"What the fuck am I doing here!?" hissed Pete. "Get on with it you fucking cunts I have things to do! I'm a busy man, you know. This suit doesn't pay for itself you dickwits. For fuck sake. I wake up and now I'm in a courtroom. Fucking brilliant. Just what I needed. You're all a bunch of fucking fucks." Pete rambled on under his breath after 4 loud bangs of the Judges hammer.
Momentary-Lee and Sarcastic-Lee step to the stand. Momentary-Lee: The bed in questioning remains at the bottom of The Pit so we can't give anybody here an actual test of it, but take our word - it's really comfortable. "Oh fuck off." Replies Pete. Sarcastic-Lee: Pete requires a more comfortable bed because he has such a hardon for being an asshole all the time. "Fuck you you fat ginger cunt. You'd find any bed comfortable!" Screams Pete. Obvious-Lee: You're not wrong Pete, but I think what Lee meant was there's really nothing wrong with the bed. Momentary-Lee: Please tone it down, Pete. Sarcastic-Lee: Pete can't tone anything down, unless he's talking about toning his bed down into The Pit, ILLEGALLY might I add. Momentary-Lee: You might add that, yes. Illegally it is, Pete. "Just fuck off. It hurts my back, the bed is a stupid bitch and it's lucky I didn't burn it." says Pete, this time he seemed calm but very, very pissed off. Obvious-Lee: It's clear that Pete is admitting to dumping the bed illegally for reasons that it hurt his back... Pete panics, "Wait, what? No! I haven't broke any laws!" Momentary-Lee: It just happened Pete. You kind of did admit to it. Sarcastic-Lee: Or, maybe the bed magically floated down there by itself aye Pete? Maybe that? Or, maybe it was just you being an angry bastard. Obvious-Lee: I think that's quite obviously what happened. The angry bastard bit of course. "All of you FUCK OFF. Charge me and let me go. I'm fucking done with this shit."
Pissed-off Pete was charged £10,000 and 30 hours Sewer Cleaning after the death of the Urchin.
The Lee's await their next case.