About 'Pissed-Off Peter'Edit
Divorced lawyer and Father of one child Stacy. He won 100% custody of his daughter and has allowed his ex-wife to visit her whenever he pleases - never. "She is a bitch, though" Peter would say.
Pissed-off Peter is a normal bloke. Your average work buddy, your stand-up friend. But Peter is SO pissed off with life and everything involved within it. He wanted full custody of Stacy so that he can moan and moan at her when he came home, always after an inevitable 'bad day at the office' (as seen in the photograph below).
Stacy told us in an interview that her Father needs help quick. He says really stupid things like about his best friend Dean at work? I hate Dean. Shitty co-worker ALWAYS screwing my shit up. I swear to God - if God even exists the Religious Cunt Jew that he is, he would remember creating Dean and say something like Yeah, yeah Pete you're right as always! Oh for fuck's sake... In the photograph taken, Stacy told us he was moaning at her saying 'You're being so stupid. Boys don't want your heart they want your vagina you IDIOT!' She was only trying to tell her Dad that a popular guy at school fancied her.
Don't get Stacy wrong. Peter IS a normal bloke - he is a loving Father and would never, ever hit her. He just loves to moan, winge and stress about everything work related. He believes in life as it is for animals - you eat, you survive, you sleep and repeat. Instead, he works 6-6 as a 'stupid lawyer' and 'always fucking working overtime for the fat bitch of a boss. Since when does a WOMAN run a business anyway? She needs to run elsewhere - and lose the fucking kankles doing so, Joan'. He hated Joan. Joan Orchard. Quite a nice name until you saw her 'potato shaped, rotund figure' this would demolish her lovely name of Orchard. Pissed-off Peter would always have a go, at anything he can attempt at. He would always explain his anger with composing arms and sickened facial expressions, using emphasis when he would use harsh words. However, when Pete would talk to Stacy he would listen to her properly and ALWAYS do as she said. One rule of having 100% custody. Although, it doesn't matter if he'd listen or not because he WILL moan about it. Somehow.
The reason Stacy visited The Mansion was so her Father can learn a lesson and as nicely put as possible/to shut his mouth and relax a little. She told him about The Mansion, the conversation was written down by Stacy like this:
Me: Dad, I think we need to talk about your anger issues..
Me: Yes. Look there's this place and it isn't therapy or anything. I know you don't like that idea
Dad: Therapy? Again with that word, Stace? ... Do you UNDERSTAND how much I work-
Me: Dad I'm not listening. Just..Just fucking listen to me a minute?!
Dad: Oooh. 'Fucking'. Great language on you there, love. Please whoever taught you that word is a fucking dead man!
Me: You taught me that! Loom, just shut up. It's a Mansion - its had really positive reviews and they don't deal with the law or anything so you can-
Dad: Is there a problem with the law, Stace? I work within the law all the time you think I have a problem with that? And a Mansion, what do you mean like, the Playboy Mansion?
Me: Dad, you fucking hate your job so yes, there is a problem actually? And a Mansion. No, not like the Playboy one you idiot..Look, are you interested because I'm sick to my stomach with your day-in day-out stressing Dad, I really am. So, please?
Dad: *sigh*....Y'know, the Playboy Mansion would be acceptable. But fine, I will try this 'Mansion' you speak of. When do I go?
Me: Today? Tomorrow? It's up to you really.
Dad: I'm not fucking deciding! I'm sick of decisions. I work Stacy, like I have the time to decide?
Me: For fuck sake! It's a decision!! It isn't time consuming! I'm going out for a bit. We're going tomorrow so no moaning. None.
Dad: I will fucking moan, okay? My cup of coffee is cold. It's useless. Just like everythin-
Me: Again. You did it. You did it again. Make another coffee? Boil the kettle longer? Add less cream? Seriously Dad. Seriously.
Dad: Seriously what? What is so 'serious Dad'? And no I'm not making another coffee I'll be up all night you idiot.
Dad: Ignoring me now ay? Ignoring your own Father. The day! The actual day has come. I knew you'd have some extent of your Mother in you.
Me: Don't you ever speak of Mum to me like that you Suit-Prick. Go to work Dad, you're pissing me off already. In fact, yeah, Pissed-off Peter should be your new name haha!
Dad: Haha. Okay, that did make me chuckle...but I don't like nicknames. Why would anybody have a nickname? So fucking pointless and needy
Me: How? How did you moan just then? ... I'm going upstairs. I'll see you tonight, love you Dad.
Dad: Yeah tonight. Where Tea is a dilemma and sleep never comes and I'll be no doubt working overtime and.......
His ramblings continued as Stacy left the room.
Pissed-off Peter and Stacy arrive at the gates of The Mansion. For once, he was silent and letting his daughter take the lead. She pressed the buzzer and a voice replied, it was feminine and soft "Report to Reception directly in front of you, thank you." The gates swung open and an aura of cooked meat swept on the breeze. 'Must be having a BBQ' said Pete, huffing and puffing as he doesn't eat meat. At Reception #1, they are greeted by the feminine voice they heard before. She looked beautiful thought Pete, but she didn't make eye contact and that allowed Pete to know that she was either married or not intetested. However, she did bow down to Stacy to tap her on the tip of her nose before they left. It was very cute and Stacy blushed. "You're going to Floor #2, down Gruejor Corridor and you'll come across a block of rooms in a small Blue Room. These are Therapeutic Wards and yours is Door #3: Anger Management. Enjoy your stay and act accordingly please". Peter noticed her namebadge 'Richelle: Here to help'. He stayed as Stacy walked on. She came to a stop and turned around to look at her Dad. He was moaning about something. Richelle looked bothered by him, so Stacy returned and grabbed him by the sleeve pulling him towards Floor #2. "Stace. She said Therapy. You know it's not that I need. You tricked me didn't you!" 'Dad, it's just what they call the Rooms will you shut up. We're here now anyway so come...'
On the walk to Floor #2 they walk a stretch and hit Gruejor Corridor. It was disgustingly bad...They both thought they had walked into a murder plot but it didn't stop Pete from moaning. It was a timely walk and all he did was moan about one of his cases, saying things like 'I get so many paper cuts that my fucking money goes on bandages and plasters' and 'Do you know how annoying a printer actually is? The one at work is broke as fuck. Makes this horrible clogging sound and it gets stuck in my head all DAMN day!' the only reply Stacy used was 'Shut up, Dad'. A famous quote of her life.
They reach the Blue Rooms Richelle spoke of. There was 4 indeed. A stocky gent in chains and claws suddenly appeared from the ceiling. He was panting and 'ready' for something..He was crouched down and Peter and Stacy dodged him and held eachother protectively..The gent then stood upright and brushed his veiny ripped body to good composure. "Ggrrrrurguh. Hublurrg fra fraah gaah?" (Oh? Wow. No attack by Gruejor?) Peter replied 'Well, we just passed Gruejor Corridor so..what's your problem jumping at my daughter like that?' "Bleerrgghh ghrrg grosscch" (There is no right way. I am sorry. Gruejor must've been busy.) In factual events, Peter had bored the only daylights Gruejor would've seen that day with his moaning. He didn't even bother chasing them down his Corridor. Harrgg Mrrgg graauugh (I'm Mike, Stacy wait here whilst your Father enters his Room.)
The door closes behind Pissed-off Peter. He is in a box room, accompanied by a masked man sat behind a desk. Pete says, "So what is this shit? Firstly, I believe my daughter sets me up at the Playboy Mansion - fat joke! I'm now here wasting my living breath..." the masked man doesn't reply. "Wha? Am I talking to myself? Oi. You ignorant bastard! I am a BUSY man I'll have you know!" the masked man still doesn't reply. Peter gets pissed off and marches to the man, he grabs the mask and crudely pulls it off. A lock of blonde flowing hair sways out, then as if his eyes deceived him, two lovely breasts sprang up and down. It was...his ex wife.
"So this is some kind of sick joke yes? Funny. So funny." He screams Stacy as if ready to leave. Upon turning round, he crashes into a 'wall' or Hugh as Mansioners know him. Peters nose literally crashes off-of his steely chest, knocking him to his knees with a cupped handful of blood. He got a splash of blood on his purple workshirt. He gets angry. Very angry.
"YOU BIG BASTARD!! I HAVE TO WEAR THIS!" He raises up and for the first time ever, he throws a fist. He pulls back with his clenched weapon and it collides with Hughs slimy, solid face. He didn't even blink - but Peters whole arm broke and snapped in 6 different places. He threw himself back and he hit the desk where his ex wife was. She quickly held him down with thick rusted chains. His honest, Fatherly face would of upset Stacy right now - but for his ex wife? She loved it. She loved the blood all over him. Hugh stepped towards the drain and slugged down into it. Pete says, "What the fucking fuck?" when suddenly darkness sifts over him.
Peter woke up in Reception. Stacy was by his side..He woke and flinched quickly, grabbing his daughters hand in safety and letting out a crying 'yelp'. Stacy wrote down the conversation they had together, it was written out like last time:
Me: Dad. It's okay. They have fixed you. They have fixed us.
Dad: No. I don't believe you. What happened? I saw your Mother. I saw some weird ass shit up there, Stace.
Me: Dad? You saw Mum, what?
Dad: Well...I think I did? And how did I wake in Reception?
Me: Think you did? Dad. It can't be possible. Mum is gone..Look. I have one question before we leave this place.
Dad: Please, do hurry...
Me: Dad. Tell me about Joan Orchard.
Dad: ....She is a lovely Mother of 4 boys. Heh, imagine that. 4 boys. How would you deal with that many brothers?
Me: I only need you, Dad
It was a happy ending for Pissed-off Pete and Stacy. One of many known cases to end heart-warming and loving. The Mansion will Delight, if you deserve it.