About 'The Prophecy of Eugene'Edit
53 my good sir. Family?
Where were you born?
Eugene was 46 when he came to the Mansion. Since then he has been recognized as one of our superior cleaners/janitors/workmen - or whatever you'd refer to him as. No one has really been told the story of Eugene; this isn't that. It is merely a statement of his time at the Mansion of Delights so far, covering seven years of his hard work and travels. This, is the Prophecy of Eugene.
The day Eugene arrived at our gates, was a Saturday afternoon. It was raining heavily outside, and when he walked in he was soaked. Even with that raincoat on! Eugene slowly walked towards the Receptionist, signed his name and told her he had arrived to work. He was informed that he was replacing an old janitor, who had recently died. Eugene nodded and moved on, towards his living quarters.
Arriving at the living quarters, Eugene saw many things. He later noted to us that this was the defining moment of his time here at the Mansion; he will always remember this day (and this particular walk) as The day I knew I wanted to work here for the rest of my life.
Eugene was shown through the corridor of revealing lights; tidier than its usual state he chuckled as he was told some brief history about it. As Rich opened the door to the living quarters, a large fat black man pushed his way through, grunting as he did.
Oh, sorry Rich! I.. I didn't know it was you, ma'am he quickly said.
Rich smiled and held the door open for Eugene, who was now finding his bags pretty heavy to carry. The large fat black man stared Eugene down as he entered the living quarters, while he drained his mop in the bucket of any liquids and other bits, sticking his tongue out while he did it (perhaps for concentration).
Upon walking through the door, Eugene spotted a huge sign high above which was nailed into a large metal board. It read
'LIVING QUARTERS, PLEASE ABIDE BY OUR RULES. THANK YOU'
Eugene huffed and carried on. To his amazement, he had arrived in a vast location, filled with various tents and also some sleeping bags placed very neatly on the floor. Everywhere was kept clean, but some of the beds weren't made.
Is this my job, ma'am? Eugene asked.
Rich simply ignored Eugene and replied with a swift I will now take you to your living space, Mr. Eugene. You have your own room, as Mr. Chafer isn't with us anymore.
After smiling, Rich carried on walking slowly. As her back turned, Eugene smiled from ear to ear much like an excited child finding their Christmas presents waiting for them on December 25th. He thought he would be sleeping with the 'normal' workers!
The next room they walked through was very smelly, although tidy. Rich simply told Eugene it was a 'connection tube' and he had to ignore the smell as over 100 different people walk through it every single day. Various people were walking right to left, from the top of the room to the bottom (where they had just walked through), and in various other directions - some pacing faster than others. What caught Eugene's eye wasn't the number of people, but a large wheeled-table with a massive straight-line of piping on it. Soon after, Eugene watched as the pipe was wheeled past by at least six people, and inside the pipe was an orange-colored 'man', whom Eugene later described to us as having 'muscles like pure marble' and complaining as he seemed to be stuck inside the aforementioned pipe.
Finally, Rich and Eugene reached the 'private quarters' (the sign read overhead) and Rich propped open Eugene's room door with her perky bottom.
Here we are, Mr. Eugene she politely said.
Uh... Do you need walking back to the reception, ma'am? Eugene responded.
I saw some pretty crazy stuff out there, and I don't know if it's safe- Rich looked at Eugene as if to say 'stop'.
I can take care of myself... She added, before letting out a cute giggle.
Rich left after this, and Eugene was given two hours to relax and unpack his bags. After an hour and twenty minutes had passed, Eugene decided to get changed into his 'usual work clothes' and head on outside his room, to explore. Rich had told him not to wander from the private living quarters, as 7up was on guard duty. Eugene decided to just poke his head out first, and survey the situation. There was nobody outside, and so it was extremely quiet.
Eugene slowly snaked his way out from the doorway where he had been peeking from, and then jumped as his door automatically closed and locked behind him. Good thing he had the key round his neck, on a string. He looked at next door; a sign read 'Barry Slaverina' and so Eugene noted that his neighbor was named Barry, for when their first meeting took place. Then, someone tapped him on the back.
You my new neighbor then? - It was the fat black man from earlier. Eugene recognized him.
I saw you earlier, right? Eugene replied.
Do you always answer a question with a question man? The man replied.
Eugene went quiet, and didn't know what to say. He then put two and two together, and mumbled So you're Barry... right? I'm your new neighbor, Eugene. Nice t' meet ya! And stuck his hand out, ready to shake Barry's.
Barry stopped and looked Eugene up and down for a few seconds, before laughing and apologizing for being rude earlier on at the doorway. Eugene was pleasantly surprised.
Barry invited Eugene in for tea and biscuits, in which Eugene told him he didn't have tea making facilities in his room.
Oh... Nah man, you get them after two years service here he said, with a mouthful of rich tea biscuits and a big grin on his face. Eugene asked how long he had worked at the Mansion for, and Barry told him fifteen years. Eugene was shocked, but showed respect and appreciation. He asked So I could learn a thing or two from you, right? before laughing awkwardly. I was told there were dangerous things here he added.
Barry took a sip of his tea and sat down on his bed, which Eugene noticed had a memory foam mattress and storage space underneath. That? Eugene asked.
Ten years service, and you get all that Barry told him. Ain't many rewards after ten years though he added.
Lemme take you to the machine Barry also said, while Eugene had a mouthful of hot tea.
Barry went on to tell Eugene his two hours rest were up, and after this trip to the 'machine', he would be working his first gruelling ten-hour shift. Eugene told him he was no stranger to hard work, and the pair of the agreed on this while telling jokes and laughing. Soon after they arrived at the 'machine'. It was smaller than Eugene had thought, being a mere small glass room with a seat, and a cap-like metal dome which seemed to fit around a persons head.
Get in man, this won't take a minute Barry told Eugene. Eugene later admitted that he was slightly nervous at this point, thinking it was perhaps a trick or something lethal in there. However once he opened the door to the small glass room, Rich was waiting for him inside.
Please, Mr. Eugene. Sit down in the chair and close your eyes she said.
We are conducting a small DNA, fitness, and aging test on you and will be finished in about three minutes. Eugene nodded, and got into the seat.
After three minutes had passed, he took the metal dome off of his head, and told Rich he had a small headache. Rich told him that was normal; his brain was being examined after all! Shortly after the test results were printed off.
Well, Mr. Eugene. Here's your results! Rich started,
You scored 88 out of 100, although you didn't think this was a test we tested your brain for weaknesses and laziness. However, as you can see we found barely any! Your DNA is fine, and you are definitely fit enough to be working ten hour shifts, as you have previous experience. You are healthy for your age, Mr. Eugene and here's what you'll look like in ten years! (See photo) she finished.
Eugene gasped, before smiling saying he looked 'damn good for 56 years old'. Rich let out a giggle, and opened the door. Barry was still waiting outside, and congratulated his new friend in becoming a Mansion worker. Before Rich left, she told Eugene some important news.
Oh yes, ahem, and one last thing Mr. Eugene. Your mind has been chipped with an anti-7up device she said.
7up can target enemies and those who commit crimes easier with this in, she added before pointing to her own head in a teenage girl kind of way. You'll basically be safer with it in.
After she left, Barry and Eugene retired to their respective rooms, for a sleep before their first shift. The next seven years, is history...